The topic of control has been a theme for me of late. Noticing the choices I make, both big and small, where I opt for the perceived safe and known way rather than feel a new and simpler way of being with life.
Control is the part that says, “Life has to be a certain way for it to be right, feel right, look right.” The crazy part is that I can apply this thinking even when I know what is ‘right’ in my head doesn’t actually work in real life.
Committing to work is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I say ‘happened’ to me, as it only seemed to begin after I had a major operation and STOP in 2010, yet it is one of the most empowering and loving things I have ever experienced for myself.
I did not grow up this way. As far back as I can remember, to age 8 or 9, there was the ideal that one day I would grow up, romantically fall in love, have a family and live happily ever after (which fell well short!). I did not do well at nor did I enjoy school, thinking that careers were for the smart ones; for others who did not want families and therefore had nothing else in their lives.
However this was all based on a belief, a picture I had in my head about how life should be. Continue reading “A True Commitment to Work, Getting a Job… and Life”
I lay there imagining what someone might think if they burst in on my session. Considering our modern day society, I feel many of us would agree that a woman massaging another woman’s breast tissue – even performed gently with no sexual connotations –may not be considered as ‘normal’. And so, because the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom, a truly self-loving experience in many ways, I began to ponder on what actually is ‘normal’. Continue reading “Time for a New Normal”
I wasn’t that hot at English at school, neither did I like writing, though that’s changed now. It’s not so much English or writing I felt to write about, but words, and how I have absolutely fallen in love with the playfulness, truth and power of words. Not in the intellectual sense of being a ‘know it all,’ or being able to recite or show off with a vast vocabulary of words: if I played a game of Scrabble I wouldn’t win because I’d be too busy loving words, having fun, and making up a new game.
Continue reading “The Power, Play-full-ness and Truth of Words…”
Today I had a most profound moment on my way to work, one of those magical experiences that left such a clear marker in my body that I will never ever forget.
I was in the gym changing room when I took a moment to stop and listen to what was being played through the speakers; it was along the lines of “if you love me, come and get your fill”. Hmmmm… definitely not a love song by my standards, and certainly not what I would want to hear from someone I loved or who loved me. I’ve learned that love can only be something that truly comes from within me first, not from anyone else filling me up: believe me I’ve tried it, and looking outside myself for love simply doesn’t work.
Hearing this song made me stop, and think; what are we really listening to? Continue reading “Music – What are we Really Listening to?”
This was one of my grandmother’s favourite sayings. Perhaps from an era just fading from memory when really no one stayed up that late. It was common practice when I was a child staying at her house that dinner was early, kids were bathed and in their pyjamas well and truly before the summer sun went down. Dinner was served at 5:30 / 6pm and once it was eaten it was story time and into bed. Adults too.
It seems these days it is a much busier world. The pace of everything is much faster and having space and time in the day seems like a luxury.
Continue reading “Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes you Healthy, Wealthy and Wise”
When I first started practicing Optometry 20 years ago, and for many years thereafter, I felt like I was an actor on a stage, but seldom the true me.
My approach was to ‘mimic my patient’ or ‘to follow their lead’. I was never taught this explicitly at the time, but just recently I attended a Customer Services workshop where this was recommended as a way to ‘wow’ your client.
I reflected back to a time when I was constantly measuring how another person was from the minute they walked through the door. Continue reading “Inspired by Serge Benhayon & Universal Medicine: Feeling the True Me”
Just after the 2013 Universal Medicine retreat at the Lighthouse, I remember getting into the hire car, driving up to the junction at the top of the road and immediately feeling my calm and serene self being challenged by a palpable energy of aggression and intolerance.
I started biting my nails when I was about 6 years old, or even earlier… I remember my mother telling me not to do it, and eventually buying some foul tasting liquid to put on my nails. Despite this awful taste I persisted. It became a very unconscious habit that increased when I was aware of being anxious, for example reading a tension-inducing book or in my teens watching a literally – for me – a “nail-biting” TV programme! As I grew older and became more self conscious I tried to hide my nails by folding my fingers inside my palms so no one would notice. I felt helpless to do anything about it, although I would like to have stopped the habit. I chewed all the way through my school years. Continue reading “Biting my Nails – Old Habits die gently”