I didn’t want to disrupt my life but change became ‘inevitable’

by Susan Scully, Brisbane, Australia

My life to most would have appeared ‘normal’ in that I had ticked all the boxes: good job, successful businesses, great family, good relationship, plenty of friends, good health and the material possessions to go with it all. However I always felt like there was something missing, that feeling of being in a crowded room yet felt the loneliest one in it.

Why is it that it is not until a so-called ‘disaster strikes’ – something that upsets your everyday ‘normal’ life such as a life threatening illness or a marriage break-down – that you begin to re-evaluate and question your life?

If I am ticking what I thought was all society’s boxes ‘being the good, hard-working, kind, law-abiding citizen’, eating what the so-called experts tell me is healthy and nutritious foods, regular GP medical check-ups, and exercising accordingly then pretty much nothing really bad should happen to me, Right? Well we all know that ‘good law abiding citizens’ experience illness and disease, with which we are met with: “God works in mysterious ways”, “Oh you poor thing”, “Life happens”, “Get on with it”, “At least its not cancer”.

It may have seemed easier to sit on the sidelines and not choose to make any changes to my life, waiting for a Doctor to ‘fix’ me, with me playing no part nor taking any responsibility for how I lived on a daily basis. I could feel deep inside however that I needed to change the way I was living to help and support me and the medical profession in my recovery.

Whilst I knew that change was needed I did not want any disruption to my life: continuing to maintain the gruelling and long work schedule, enjoy whatever alcohol-fuelled nights out I could squeeze in to take the edge off the working day or week, a diet high in carbs, sugar and gluten and plenty of late night work fests to try and fit the never-ending to-do list in while trying to please everyone all of the time…and somewhere in there run a household, an office and several businesses as well as maintain friendships and relationships. Hmmm…I’m exhausted just writing that. Looking back to 2006 I can hardly recognise that was what I called my life.

I had always been open to the possibility that there was more to life though I was too busy working to actively seek answers so it was easier to just go with the norm. When I heard a presentation given by Serge Benhayon I absolutely knew that what he was presenting was true, and change was inevitably necessary whether I liked it or not. I came to understand that I was so identified with my ‘busyness’ that I never simply stopped to connect to my stillness and feel the real me.

Those who know me know well that I do things my own way with no-one being able to tell me what to do and when. Not at any time has Serge nor any of the practitioners ever told me what to do, rather they have been living and loving examples that have supported and inspired me in knowing that I am also worth doing things differently for, to love and care for myself and inspire others in a similar way.

My life is a true and heart-rich life in the making.