Breaking the consciousness of what true responsibility means allows us to open up to new dimensions and observe everything differently. We get taught that responsibility is to be serious, not fun, a burden, difficult and heavy. What if responsibility is the exact opposite? What if the true quality of responsibility was joy-full, loving, fun, simple and light? How different would our world be if we lived responsibly this way?
Of course, it is challenging to live this true way as the lies and the illusion of what responsibility is meant to be is so ingrained in us. I completely bought into these lies and the illusion of responsibility so I rebelled against it and I refused to grow up. I didn’t want to be a responsible adult and go to work. Well of course I did go to work and on the outside it looked responsible but it was not so on the inside and energetically integer because in truth I didn’t want any form of responsibility so I became irresponsible by polluting my body with wrong foods, going to bed late and living my life through the fantasy of TV shows. This led to constant tension and angst, pushing and hurrying, seeking relief sexually to try and get rid of the tension that I was feeling in my body. I was living my life as a movie and never really present. Life was passing me by and did not allow me to feel alive and vital.
Today I have a deeper understanding of what love is. For me it is mostly about us accepting ourselves in full, with all our imperfections, and always exactly where we are at, and to treat ourselves lovingly… being there for ‘ourselves’ as we would be for a friend or partner, equally so. I would never shout at them – or when they fall, ever punch them and be mad at them because they fell down – so why do I do this to myself?
It’s also about the letting go of pictures, expectations, ideals and beliefs; actually letting ourselves ‘be’ and observe, which empowers us to choose how we will behave or act. It’s about allowing ourselves the space to learn and giving ourselves the time to rest when we feel the support in this – or if we have a plan and our body feels like something else, then to listen to it. For myself it means instead of going to the gym, maybe going for a walk, having a bath, or as I did yesterday, to sit in the sun with my cup of tea or lie on my massage table listening to the amazing Rachel Kane CD.
Reflecting back on how I was living, I can now see that it was not self-loving to live this life of irresponsibility and to constantly dismiss and ignore what I was feeling rather than standing up for what was truly good for me in that moment; like just now – learning to speak up for myself and saying no. Justifying all my actions – when not pleasant for another – was also huge, and is still present but has diminished a lot. It’s really about catching myself when I am not listening to my body and to stop as soon as I am aware of it. When I am expressing I do not need to raise my voice or shout to be heard, I just need to repeat myself and be confident in what I say while knowing that I always have the right to walk away if I am not heard or listened to.
Two and a half years ago I began attending Universal Medicine presentations. Becoming a Student of The Livingness, completing Sacred Esoteric Healing Courses and receiving private healing sessions allowed me to reconnect back to ‘me’ and discover who I truly am and what my qualities are. I now have more friends and true relationships than I have ever had before… a new world has opened up for me. I can feel my self-confidence and self-worth expanding and that my expression is unique and equal to everyone.
Before Universal Medicine I always felt less and lived in comparison of other people’s abilities – the measuring of what I did instead of just knowing that my being was enough and equal to all. Yes, it is hard to live in a world that values the ‘doings’ and recognition, and dismisses the inner qualities. Now it’s time to claim my innate qualities and re-connect to the stillness and harmony that I represent, and live it always on a deeper level. It’s my responsibility to stop comparing and start looking within; to let go of all my beliefs that I have of recognition as I have come to the understanding that it is absolutely not sustainable, not working. At times I still find myself needing recognition, but with a willingness to re-connect to a deeper level of awareness and responsibility I can quickly call out this need and be aware of so much more.
I deeply appreciate the expanding openness and growing awareness: it is the gateway to live even more responsibly – bringing back its true meaning by living in the essence of joy, love and simplicity. Responsibly taking care of my body and deepening the connection to joy and love is so natural to me and I honour and appreciate it all in every little detail. By being truly responsible, my self-confidence and inner strength have grown and I am able to be more consistent in my livingness.
This game of competing and being less or more is not working; if we stop and call it for what it is it will lose its power as we return back to brotherhood and realise that we are all love in essence.
For me it is so important to allow myself space and to live my personal relationship with God. I feel God, the Universe, and the energy within when I attend any Universal Medicine Presentation with all the people that are committed to living truly responsible lives. It is absolutely all encompassing and free of judgement and ideas of perfection. It’s about me connecting to me, the energy of my essence, and learning that this is always there within me – not needing the course, the session or such to feel this, or to use them as a form of relief to feel better. That’s really a big one for me.
I just know that this false picture of responsibility was stopping me from being joy-full and completely present and committed to work. What a great opportunity I now have, as I am aware of how power-full it is to be present and joy-full. It’s like lighting one candle after another – and I absolutely love candles – so why would I continue this false picture and belief system when there is another way that I have already experienced? I know this will not happen overnight, so I will allow myself to be patient and appreciative of every little step I take. By expressing in this light, it is confirming and encouraging me to continue to explore and stay open and just trust in the process that really all is constellated – wow, it’s really about opening up the door from security to surrender and letting go of the control and just feeling guided and held from the power within.
True responsibility is being honest with myself, and when I say yes to me and to love, the ‘what is not love’ comes out, and to feel this is sometimes pretty ugly and not so pleasant. The knowing that this is not in-truth me and letting it go, is a forever deepening process. True Responsibility has the quality of playfulness, light and joy, and it is the ability to respond to all that life presents with love.
By Nadine Wolfsberger, Travel Agent and Sacred Esoteric Healing Practitioner, Basel, Switzerland
Related Reading:
Gardening Leave? Meh.
Learning to Feel my Feelings: Human Beings, not Human Doings
Taking True Responsibility for my Behaviour