Settling in to my new home, I have time to reflect on the miraculous flow of events that have brought me to this point, and how they unfolded.
I wasn’t looking to move although I had begun to feel that my son and I were outgrowing the sweet mews house that we had been renting. I had a week off work and, as you do, casually yet curiously browsed the property pages.
I have grown up with the understanding that responsibility is a burden. However, responsibility is to be open to shining my amazingness, love and beauty in the world every moment. So how can connecting to my inner beauty and embracing life in full be a burden?
I would say it is not. It would be like having a brightly shining diamond inside us and ignoring it, dismissing it or hiding it.
As I sit here writing I can feel a warmth in my chest and a gorgeous feeling of yumminess throughout my body. I feel confident, strong, light and playful, I can feel sparks of joy, and most of all I feel appreciative of all that I have done for myself over the last few weeks.
Only a few short weeks ago I was in a very dark place of depression and confusion. Life had thrown a few big challenges my way over the course of a few months in the form of what felt like attacks from forces that appeared to be bigger than me. My reaction was to be scared, withdraw, and contract into a hidey hole thinking that is where I would be safe.
‘Housework’ – that dreaded word and task – is something we do and share if we live with others, but sometimes it can be difficult to fit it in, or your week has been so full-on that the thought of having to do the housework becomes a real chore, instead of the real joy that it is or can be. Continue reading “Harmony In-House”
This morning on my walk I decided to go ‘the other way around’ and turned left and not right on one of my chosen routes.
And it was quite the experience.
I noticed things that I have never seen before; houses, gardens, trees, flowers, angles, and even new roadkill!
A few months ago I attended a family wedding. It was a beautiful occasion with great attention to detail. One aspect that supported this was the appointment of table captains, the idea being that one person would attend to the needs of their fellow guests and ensure that everything was running smoothly at each table.
Personally, being a table captain was interesting. As someone who has been used to taking a back seat and letting things happen, being appointed to the captain’s role required quite a change in my approach. No longer could I just let the event wash over me, I had to be attentive to the needs of the other guests and be engaged in the process of ensuring things were running smoothly.
I recently travelled to Australia to be in a new relationship and after 5 months, my partner and I bought a house in an area we liked and started to get to know the local community and what shops to get whatever we needed. We registered for the local doctor’s surgery and notified all the official places of our new address.
Within a month of our being in the new house, my partner, who had been living with emphysema for seventeen years, had one lung collapse (pneumothorax) and was admitted to hospital.
I have been meaning to have a chat with you, ‘Busy’, about a few things that I have realised – and you might have already noticed that things between us have been changing. All my life I have believed that keeping busy meant being productive – not a ‘loafer’ or lazy – and that ‘getting things done’ was an important part of being mature and responsible. Since I can remember, you have always been there. Yes, I grant you that you have been very diligent in keeping track of me and how I was going, relentlessly urging me on when I slowed down, but I’ve connected with an inherent wisdom recently and am now taking back responsibility for this part of my life.
Here are a few things I have been reflecting on and why I feel it’s time for us to part ways: Continue reading “Unravelling “Busy’s” Fabricated Web”
Writing about appreciation seems to bring up a lot for me. Today after weeks of delay, I asked myself, “Why is this so hard?” I am pretty good at clocking the beauty that surrounds us all – the sun, the sky and the stars. I know I am blessed to have a job, family, wonderful partner and an incredible group of friends. Many times I have been in awe of the way incredible opportunities have opened up, or of the colours of the sky during sunrise or sunset. When I speak to people I find it easy to tell them how much I appreciate them, the way they light up my life and what they bring to the world, – I do it often. Last and certainly not least, I’ve had more things to appreciate than I would have thought possible since I discovered Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine around seven years ago. So seriously, what’s the problem?
Continue reading “The Science of Appreciation: Part of Every Moment”
Recently I had an experience that made me feel very vulnerable in an emotional as well as physical way.
I got myself into an argument with somebody over a situation where the other person was at fault. I got quite angry and didn’t want to let it go. The result was that I was met with aggression and threatened with pretty drastic violent and destructive actions. Those sorts of threats go to the bone in me. I had nightmares that night and couldn’t rest the next day until that situation could be somehow resolved. I felt fearful, very vulnerable and tense, and also found it very hard to let go of my position of being right and that I was the victim.